Kim Pine Vs Her Infinite Sorrows
by ElectricSpectre
Summary: Scott and Ramona are together in a perfect relationship. Who cares what about Kim and the rest of the gang? They didn't necessarily live happily ever after.
1. Kim Pine Vs Her Awful Band

Kim Pine vs. Her Awful Life

I don't own anything, pinky swear.

* * *

It was 10:00 at Second Cup and by the entrance of the coffee shop I, Kim Pine, was sitting there waiting for the arrival of my so called friends who for the third time this week were late again to a band meeting.

"Unbelievable (it's totally believable) there late again!" I said not surprised.

It had been 6 months since Scott and Ramona started their relationship anew and I was jealous. Not about Scott but that they get to have a perfect relationship that I'll never have. At this rate I'll sleep with anyone, the last guy I dated was Jason and he ended up cheating on me. I don't have a job, and I'm mooching off my parents money. I haven't talked to anyone outside of Ramona Scott Neil and stephen in days. If I could I would pour gasoline on my entire life and watch it burn, honestly i swore i got past all this angst crap.

Anyway Scott and I started a new bad which for the record is 10 times shittier than Sex Bob-omb. Our new band, Shatter Band currently consists of Scott, Steve, and me. We asked Young Nei- I mean Neil if he wanted to join but he really didn't wanna be part of the band again. Steve joined after he shamefully asked us if he could be apart of it and we've been working on getting noticed again.

I had my head face down staring at the ground below the table circling my finger around the plastic coffee cup waiting patiently for the arrival of my fellow band members they were always late Scott was busy with Ramona 24/7, considering she can go in his dreams i don't think saying that would be an incorrect statement and Steve is probably with Joseph all the time .

"Hey Kim that bored already, I'm only 10 minutes late?" A voiced called from the entrance.

"Your Late Scott." said the girl with a dark expression.

Scott Pilgrim

Age: 25

Kim's Rating: 3/10

Status: Jerk Friend

Nickname: Loser (Nope that's mine)

"Come on I was busy." Scott said giving me his super effective sad puppy eyes.

"Doing what exactly?" I responded with a heavy sigh.

"Ramona" Scott said with a dirty smug look of accomplishment.

"Please spare me the details," I said with a look of disgust.

Scott smiled "It was just a joke Kimberly." Scott said with an amused look

"Where's Captain Homo at then."

"Banging your dad Kimberly." A voice once again said from across the shop.

Stephen Stills

Age: 24

Kim's Rating: Fag/10 (That's at least a six )

Status: Really Gay (He could match even Wallace)

Nicknames: Captain Homo, the Talent

"Cute stephen, you know your 20 minutes late."

"What else is new _Kimberly_." Stephen Said staring at me with a confused look with a smug smile underneath.

"Still doing it with Joseph" I said with a curious look.

"No _Kimberly_ We've parted ways.

Steve knows just how to piss me off anytime he wanted to make me angry he would call me _Kimberly_ the name my evil parents gave me. The only person who is allowed to call me it and get to live is Scott because he used to call me that when we were making ou- actually I'd rather not talk about that story anymore.

"Whatever Stephen lets get down to business and talk about what we came here for."

The band thought of ideas to hopefully better themselves but to no avail we thought about playing different instruments to changing their style but no idea felt like it would work. Then as if struck by lightning I suddenly came up with an idea to save Shatter Band.

"I have a great idea for the band guys." I said with a prideful smile.

"What is it?" Scott said with a surprised look

"We get a new member hopefully someone for our vocals." I said with a look of confidence

"But my vocals are amazing Kim I'm hurt you would even suggest that." Scott said with am exaggerated look of pain.

"Please don't start that Scott."

"Ok fine then I'll play nice _Kimberly_."

"Your vocals are pure garbage, I sure as hell can't sing and if Stephen sings it'll just be Sex Bob-omb, we are trying to be a different ban guys since our old one was disappointingly unsuccessful."

"So who do we get to replace me then?" Scott said

"I really no idea but they have to be better than you and hell even better then Steve."

"I was great." Stephen said

"You were okay I want someone whose vocal talents kick ass."

"I think I can help" A shy and familiar voice said leaning over the table

"Knives," The group said with shocked looks. "what are you doing her?"

Knives Chau

Age: 18

Kim's Rating: 9.5/10

Status: Really Mysterious

Nickname: Chau Down, Sevente-Eighteen Years Old

"Knives what are you doing here shouldn't you be at University?" said Scott with a questioning look

"Don' worry about that Scott I think you guys should be more concerned on filling that spot for a band member, and since I have nothing but free time now I highly suggest you consider me to join.

Knives started singing the lyrics of an old Sex Bob-omb in perfect tune and melody. The tone didn't fit with the music but it still sounded great and could always be adjusted.

Kim looked from head to toe at the girl and a smile formed on her face Kim had finally found someone to fill the role and she had only one thought on her mind 'She is Perfect'

**To Be Continued **

* * *

-A/N: So yeah... that was the first chapter. The next will be better promise. The main character of the story is Kim but I do wanna talk about the other characters more and that won't really start until the next chapter. Next chapter I'll try and stuff everyone in there and make sure its fueled by angst and black humor that i swear!


	2. Kim Pine Vs Her Life Problems

A/N: Thanks for the reviews so far also this chapter is done by a narrator instead of Kim.

* * *

"That was quite a performance Knives." Said Kim.

"Agreed" said Scott and Stephen in unison.

"Thanks Kim, so can I be in the band." Said Knives with a scared expression.

"Right just one question…. What are you doing here?" Kim said

"Asking you to be in your band." said Knives with a sly look.

"Umm no Knives what are you doing in Toronto?" Kim said with a questioning look.

"I live here Kim duhh." Said Knives hoping Kim would drop the question

"No! I mean what are you doing here shouldn't you be at college you went away a few months ago."

" Well I was attending UBC until….." Knives cut her sentence short

"Until What?"Said the three sitting friends

"Fine I'll tell you guys. So it started a few months ago when I left to attend the University of British Columbia. I got in and my dad was paying for my tuition, dorm, and everything else. Anyway I met this guy Jean. He was a hipster like you guys and had his own band. He asked if I could play piano for his band after we met at Orchestra practice. Eventually he wanted me to sing for him as well and then we started going out.

Kim interrupted. "That doesn't explain why you're here?"

"Right was getting to that. Anyway when my dad found out I was dating a white guy he got mad an forced me to stop dating him, of course I didn't do what he said."

"Wait," Scott said. "Your dad and me fought because I was dating you and afterwords I'm pretty sure he was totally cool with you dating white guys"

"Well maybe he said that to you but after I left Toronto he just became more controlling and strict it . Anyway after I continued dating Jean my dad got mad and may have killed him."

"What" Screamed the group

"Your dad can't just go around killing guys he doesn't like." Scott said

The other three adults stared blankly at Scott

"Why are you guys looking at me like that?"

"Scott you murdered like 6 people and caused one to commit suicide."

"Pfft, details Kimberly details besides some of those were in self defense besides they all had extra li-."

"Can I just finish my damn story?" Screamed Knives

The group became instantly quiet at the sight of the young woman screaming at the top of her lungs.

"Anyway as I was sayin—"Unfortunately she didn't get to finish that sentence as a Julie interrupted.

"Can you guys be any fucking louder, I have 100 other customers and your pissing them all—"

Knives stared at Julie with a fiery red hate glowing from her usually black eyes. "Interrupt me again and I'll eat your head bitch."

"Oookkkaayyyy then I'm gonna go take other customers orders, if you guys need anything just ask and its free." Julie said nervously speeding off to the other side of the coffee shop.

Knives quickly went back to her default appearance. "Anyway to wrap thing up before I get interrupted, I went against my dad and so he stopped paying for my tuition and everything as punishment. Since I couldn't pay to stay in BC I headed back to live here with my old friend from high school. God I feel like such a failure." said knives with a depressed look

"Don't be so hard on yourself you have the education of a college drop out and live by mooching of your roommate your basically Scott" Said Kim with a sympathetic smile

"That was the worst motivation I've ever heard I feel bad," Said Stephen "I mean being compared to Scott is like hitting rock bottom."

"Hey, I found a job and I have my own place." Said Scott defensively.

"Right so anyway I bumped into Wallace earlier and he told me you guys started a new band so I was wondering if I could join, I mean I'm pretty good at singing and I already know all your songs plus I can play the piano so what do you say guys. Kim said practically begging.

"Okay she can join." Said Kim unenthusiastically

"Really Kim thanks so when do I start."

"Meet us at my place tomorrow Knives," Kim picked up a napkin from the table and wrote her address on it. "Here take this, don't lose that and don't be late, I'll see you guys later I'm going home."

Seconds later Kim was out the door heading down the street.

"So Stephen what are we gonna do know? " Said Scott.

"I'm gonna go find a guy to have sex with wanna help."

"Are you propositioning me Stephen because I'm not ga-"

"Your an idiot, I'm leaving see you tomorrow." Stephen left the shop heading down the street with Knives leaving afterward and going in the opposite direction leaving Scott alone in the coffee shop alone.

* * *

Kim opened the door to her dark apartment with the contents other mailbox in hand. Kim would never admit it but she missed having roommates regardless of how annoying she felt they were. She missed having fights with Sara, Tracy, and Emily over the littlest things. She even missed Hollie even if she was a complete bitch and slept with Kim's boyfriend. Being alone in the apartment alone was depressing no sound are lights made her feel uncomfortable to goo in her house. She walked into the living room and picked up her phone, she had one message from her father. 'Wonder what he wanted Kim thought.' She called her dad back and waited for a response.

"Kimberly" said a weak voice

"Hey Dad is everything all right" Said Kim in a worried voice.

"Kimberly its your mother we went to the doctor and..." The man stopped. "They learned she was having heart problems."

"And..." Kim said in a scared voice.

"They need to perform open heart surgery on her and to pay for it your going to have to come back.

"WHAT!"

"It's an expensive procedure so I would have to take the money I spend on your rent for your mother. I'm truly sorry Kimberly that you had to get dragged into this situation.

"No dad its fine but I'm not leaving Toronto things are going well and I'm sure I can get a job again and maybe get a roommate to help."

"Okay Kimberly if that's what you think is best than you can do that your and adult. Listen I have to go but I promise I'll call you later."

Kim dropped the phone and left to go her room and cry.

"Just great Kimberly your Moms sick and your broke what are you gonna do now."

Then it hit her, Kim realized that if she wanted to stay in Toronto she would have to get something she never wanted to have to do again, find a job.

A/N: Nothing to say really next chapter is gonna be in Kim's POV. Next chapter is gonna be funnier too.


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